Ken ClyneSend the Bus to the Junkyard

Kudos to Dan Weikart who despite my mumblings and grumblings still managed to pay attention at a recent APLN meeting. The topic was Adopting Agile in a Waterfall Enterprise. I really thought we would get something new and insightful, but all we really got was a retread of classic anti-patterns for process adoption. As Kim Werner loves to remind those running to get on the agile bandwagon, there is nothing fundamentally new about agile practices and of course, he’s right, there isn’t. Substitute RUP for Agile (:1,$ s/agile/rup/g) and we’re back in the year 2000. Of course, this is good news for ruppies, we just think about RUP as it should be implemented, change our vocabulary, click our heels together and we’re back home.

Now back to the title of this blog. What really got the hairs on the back of my neck standing up was the point that one of the keys to successful adoption was to build your team with people “on the bus” and get rid of people who are “not on the bus”.

This is wrong on so many levels:

• If you cherry pick your team, you will deliver results every single time regardless of the process.
• Where are we going to put all these people that we need to kick off the bus? Michele said that you can “put them on special projects”. This was even more absurd than her original comment. You need to work with the people you have, and if it is a process that adds value, people will eventually come around. In my experience it is good to have a healthy amount of skepticism.
• Isn’t it about time we stopped using the term “Get On The Bus”? I’m not really sure of the etymology, there was a Spike Lee movie called Get on the Bus, there’s an old Scottish song called Ye Cannae Shove Yer Granny Aff a Bus! and when my kids were babies, I used to sing The Wheels On The Bus to them, but I think it probably came from one of those management books you see in the airport. No doubt on a shelf next to Who Moved Your Cheese.
• Lastly, it’s just not nice.

So, listen up bus metaphor people. We have moved your cheese. Your bus is now in the junk yard. I suggest something more lightweight and agile, perhaps a Vespa.